It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize