Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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