I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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