Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
