I want to make a zoo with you.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
And then my night got REAL pukey
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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