Where are you?
In a non slutty way
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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