well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
What happened to fro yo and sex?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
