I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
