I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
