Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
