she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
