Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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