You're so nebulous sometimes
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize