I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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