She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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