You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize