under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
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