Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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