we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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