Three words: puerto rican gang bang
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
