So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
People in love make me want to vomit
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize