After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
