I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
