Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
