hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
