she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
