Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
