like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize