I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
