He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Enjoy the penises
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize