He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
