I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
