I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
