I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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