you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
