coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
