just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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