he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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