He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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