Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Ladies don't puke and tell
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