No subtext here. People are naked.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
