He is an equal opportunity slut.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
