Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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