Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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