Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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