i wish there were pregnant emoticons
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
