i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Randomize