I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
