She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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