yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
