K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
