So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
