It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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