with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize