im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
