he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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