she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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