shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
