brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
