That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize
