youre lurking in front of me
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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