The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
