I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm going to jail i love you
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
