U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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