im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
