I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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