sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
