Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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