soooo we both peed the bed last night...
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I got inside last night via doggy door
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
