party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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