i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
