HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Let's get the cat blown out
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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