You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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