im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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