Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
She's the barista slut.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
