I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
