And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
