Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Boobs speak an international language.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
