I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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