She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
