They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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