Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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