Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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