what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
